J’raxis·Com
J’raxis·Com
J.P. Bouchard, Adam Gardner and J’raxis wrote this story sometime in June 1996 (it’s older than this website!), in high school while they had nothing better to do, and it just took off from there. The story was written in pieces by each of them, in pieces, which explains (mostly) why it makes even less than no sense at all. If you look at the bizarre names in the story, they are they authors’ names backwards.
Hey, let’s make a weird story…
[JP] One hot summer day, I, Luap Noj Drahcoub, was walking down a long, narrow street—a silent street dead ahead, with a sickly smell of dead bodies. Suddenly, I looked [Adam] to the east and noticed a foggy, smoky, smeared-like object digging deep into the earth like it had all the time in the world. The heat had made my clothes press to my body like a strong, everlasting magnet; all I wanted to do was go see my new wife but I was drawn towards that object. [J’r] As I was walking slowly and cautiously towards that unknown object, the sky suddenly got dark. I heard a voice behind me and spun around to see who was silently following me.
There was no one there. I turned back around, and there was a man standing there! “Hello,” the man said, “my name is Ymérej Noslo.”[JP]“Hello, sir,” I said, stunned, “This is strange. I know you.”“But I’ve never seen you,” Ymérej replied. The fog was growing thicker, and the grotesque stench of dead, decomposing bodies intensified. I felt nauseous. [Adam] I thought it was the weather; but, beyond my knowledge, Ymérej was putting a silent but deadly spell on me. Slowly, my eyelids became heavy. [J’r] I began to falter and stumbled—I fell, and passed out. As I was losing consciousness, I heard Ymérej laughing sadistically. I tried to look up to see what happened to the smoky object, but it was gone. In a flash of blue-green light, Ymérej disappeared also…
[JP] Hours upon hours of complete darkness passed. Finally, I awoke, in a blurry stumble, and I got up and fell to the ground again—I was totally disoriented. I could still hear the faint chuckling of the sadistic man—a man named Ymérej, a very sick individual. A blurry figure stood above me, a larger, taller figure with a black—no, blue—jumpsuit. My vision was slowly coming back.
[Adam] Slowly and gradually, the blurriness became clear gray, and then became rainbows of colors; and the taste of blood became the sweet taste of honey tea. Though still numb and stinging, I tried to move, but the pain increased with every motion.
[J’r] I managed to ask, “Where’s Ymérej? Where am I!? What did he—!?”
“Mr. Noslo is not here,” The person answered. I tried to stand, but still couldn’t.
“And what was that object that I—?”
“I know of no object,” was the flat reply. The room darkened like the sky had before and Ymérej appeared out of a flash of blue-green light.
“Ymérej!! You again!!” I screamed at his arrival.
“Hello, Mr. Noj,” Ymérej said, nonplused by my outburst. “So glad to see you.”
[JP]“Who are you!?” I screamed.
“Don’t waste your energy, my friend,” Ymérej replied in a sarcastic voice. The other figure, the one in the blue jumpsuit, turned to Ymérej and smiled, then disappeared all of a sudden.
[Adam] She (or he?) disappeared in the blue-green flash like she was struck by a bolt of lightning shot from Zeus’ great hand. The blast of light left my eyes stinging for the next couple of minutes.
I stood, dazed, unaware of his surroundings. I thought to myself, What am I… going to be dazed off and on throughout this whole story!?[JP] When I finally regained total control over my body, I looked around at my surroundings—Ymérej was gone again. I could still taste the death on my lips and could smell it in the air… this was all strange to me, almost psychotic. I had been left alone accompanied by a mysterious object, then a complete schizo psychopath by the name of Ymérej came along—I was hurt, confused, and totally exhausted from this whole ordeal.
Turning slowly down a dark alley, the only signs of life were rats, and maggots, and a few stray cats here and there—the noise of these cats intensified and I covered his ears. [Adam] I was not sure of where, or why these cats were screeching like this. But I was determined to figure it out. Shadows flashed violently past me. I couldn’t rely on my sense of smell and touch now. As I walked on the once cobble-stoned streets turned to dirt long ago, each step brought the crunch of dead insects beneath my shoes. [JP] This narrow alley was a vacuum, a vacuum that let no light in or out. In another sense, it sucked in all the gruesome creatures that the world could display…
I was the light, the only one—the light was dimming and I needed to rekindle it. [Adam] The flame that would keep me going and give me hope, that is the flame which I needed to rekindle. As the stars of the heavens began to shine, I looked back on my life and thought of past friends, family and enemies. Though all this happened in one life, my life, these incidents seemed to be in many different lives all separate.
[JP] I was bewildered by this very thought, but I journeyed on. I journeyed on into the dark alley, an alley of supreme evil, yet for some unsound reason I was not afraid—not even a little hesitant to continue on in the rat-filled maze. It was as if something was dragging me in, sucking my body into the dark alley like a vacuum.
[J’r] I began thinking about Ymérej and the person with him. Could Ymérej somehow me controlling me? I thought walking down the alley. The smell of the rat-infested alley was becoming unbearable. Just as the suffocating smell was about to cause me to pass out, a blinding light blinded me. When it disappeared seconds—or minutes?—later, I was standing in a brightly lit, stench-free, white-painted bare room. Standing in the center of my spartan surroundings was none other than—Ymérej!
“Ymérej!!!!” I screamed, enraged. I lunged forward at Ymérej and punched him right in the face. Ymérej reeled backwards and [Adam] began asking “Why? Why did you hit me?” The rage within me urged me, burned me like a searing-hot coal—the only way to cool it was another punch. Like a rocket my hand left my hip with nothing in its way but Ymérej’s fat head. Coated with blood, I snapped my fist back to my hip, still seething with rage. Ymérej bent forward, spitting out blood.
Rage urged me on for more. I knew not why I wanted his blood, but I did. Like pistons of an engine I punched him. [J’r] Ymérej fell backward again, and stumbled into the white wall. I punched him in the face again and he fell, unconscious.
“Well, that’s enough of him,” I said to myself. I turned to leave, exiting through the only door in the empty room.
Just as I was turning the knob on the door, I heard “Not enough, Mr. Noj!” behind me. Ymérej was up again, pointing a pistol directly at my head. “It’ll take more than that to stop Ymérej N. Noslo!”
To be continued… or not…